Reviewed by Richard Feilden.\u00a0 Viewed in Theater<\/p>\n
Where do I begin with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?\u00a0 Am I really expected to believe that this was the best that the combined might of Spielberg and Lucas could produce?\u00a0 These two are capable of delivering some of the finest popcorn-cinema ever to grace the silver screen, and yet they have given us this?\u00a0 You need read no further, just heed my warning and avoid this film.<\/p>\n
The plot, for what it is worth, revolves around a lost crystal skull (but you\u2019d already guessed that!).\u00a0 Recovery of the skull will be, so the legends say, rewarded with ultimate power (see Ark of the Covenant, Sankara stones and the Holy Grail for points of reference).\u00a0 Kidnapped by Communists (who have replaced the 30s Nazis as the enemy de jour) Dr Jones is forced to help find the skull and the temple to which it must be returned.\u00a0 But the journey is interrupted by communist accusations against Indiana himself, as well as the arrival of a young man named Mutt\u2026
\nOne of the things that the previous Indiana Jones films had in their favor was the fact that, as long as you could buy the mystical elements, there were few things which forced you to suspend disbelief too dramatically.\u00a0 Sure, the cart jump from Temple of Doom was a little farfetched, and we weren\u2019t entirely sure how (or why!) Wille wasn\u2019t turned into charcoal, but on the whole it was easy to suspend disbelief and go along for the ride.\u00a0 Not so in the case The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull.\u00a0 And here is why.<\/p>\n
Indiana Jones and the Insulters of Audience Intelligence<\/strong><\/p>\n This film thinks you are stupid.\u00a0 Really, really, stupid.\u00a0 Our introduction to Indy takes place at Area 51, inside a very familiar warehouse.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve ever seen the first Indy film you know exactly what lies within.\u00a0 However Spielberg has decided that you might somehow have become confused and insists on showing you the Ark of the Covenant poking out of a broken crate.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve seen Raiders this is unnecessary.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve never seen it then you must surely be wondering what the big golden box is.\u00a0 Whilst this is not the worst thing that the film does, it exemplifies the film\u2019s lack of faith in the audience.\u00a0 We all know that the 50s were the era of ever present nuclear threat, so do we really need to see our geriatric hero survive an atomic bomb detonation, particularly when his survival rests on his ability to withstand being flung half way across Nevada in a fridge?\u00a0 I know the writers wanted us to get the message that the world had changed since Indy\u2019s heyday, but was this really the best they could do?\u00a0 The film goes on to shower the audience with long winded sequences of exposition, relaying what is, or should be, obvious and it just gets tedious.<\/p>\n Indiana Jones and the Terrible CGI<\/strong><\/p>\n The earlier films relied on clever editing, cinematography and actual sets to get you into the thick of the action.\u00a0 The sheer physicality of Jones\u2019s surroundings gave them weight and an air of excitement.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never looked at the opening of Raiders and thought \u2018If only that boulder had been computer generated, this could have been so much more thrilling\u2019!\u00a0 Yet for some reason (and, I fear, the reason was probably the CGI evangelist in the producer\u2019s chair) this fourth installment is full of CGI.\u00a0 And it is terrible.\u00a0 I mean really, truly, utterly awful.\u00a0 From the comedy gophers in the opening sequence, to Shia LaBeouf\u2019s elastic legs during the jungle chase, the CGI ruins sequence after sequence.\u00a0 It may allow you to do every more fantastical things, but bigger is not better Mr. Spielberg, better is better.<\/p>\n Indiana Jones and the Bizarre Plot Elements<\/strong><\/p>\n One of the prerequisite elements of any Indy story is a diabolical villain and, in The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, that role is filled by Cate Blanchett as Col. Dr. Irina Spalko.\u00a0 Spalko is apparently a psychic.\u00a0 I say apparently because apart from frowning once at Indy and declaring him \u2018hard to read\u2019 she does absolutely nothing else with this wondrous ability.\u00a0 Nothing, zip, zilch, nada.\u00a0 For all we know she is just bonkers!\u00a0 It is as though one person wrote the first sequence and then passed it on to another screen writer, sealed in an envelope, for them to carry on.\u00a0 Then there is the moment in which Indy is, in the presence of Mutt, inexplicably stricken with a conscience over removing a knife from a mummified body.\u00a0 For crying out loud he is INDIANA JONES!\u00a0 He is the original tomb raider.\u00a0 This is what he does!\u00a0 James Bond kills enemy spies, Spiderman swings from buildings and Indiana Jones loots tombs.\u00a0 Don\u2019t mess with the basics.<\/p>\n I could go on to protest the lack of suspense, the fact that Indy doesn\u2019t really do anything other than get dragged around by the bad guys or the genocide that no one seems to care about, but it would really be flogging a dead horse.\u00a0 I did smile when we got the brief moments where the characters got to have fun away from a green screen and I did enjoy being in the company of Dr. Jones one more time, but only for brief moments.\u00a0 Has Spielberg ruined my childhood as other reviewers have protested?\u00a0 No, he hasn\u2019t gone that far.\u00a0 Discovering that my Dad tortured kittens or my Mom voted for Margret Thatcher would ruin it and a bad Indy film just doesn\u2019t have that power.\u00a0 Has it ruined by trust in Spielberg\u2019s abilities as the best popcorn film director (George, you already lost your crown \u2013 you know what you did!)?\u00a0 Let\u2019s just say that whatever he comes up with next had better be damn good.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to take some real whip-cracking fun to bury the memory of this unconvincing rubber snake of a flick.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Reviewed by Richard Feilden.\u00a0 Viewed in Theater Where do I begin with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?\u00a0 Am I really expected to believe that this was the best that the combined might of Spielberg and Lucas could produce?\u00a0 These two are capable of delivering some of the finest popcorn-cinema ever to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-148","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-films"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/studentfilmreviews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/studentfilmreviews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/studentfilmreviews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/studentfilmreviews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/studentfilmreviews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=148"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/studentfilmreviews.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/studentfilmreviews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=148"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/studentfilmreviews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=148"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/studentfilmreviews.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=148"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}