Roxanne (Valentin Hotea, 2013) RO

Reviewed by Caroline Juul Mortensen at Santa Barbara International Film Festival, 2014

I want to start out by saying

This is not a film they should be playing

Cause I am not even kidding

And I’m saying this without spitting

This movie was so boring

That everyone in the theater ended up snoring

 

It’s a story about a guy

And at first he is really shy

But one day this man

Figures out that his teenage love Roxanne

Had a baby back then, kiss kiss

And the child is his

 

He starts his own secret investigation

Really he belongs at a mental institution

Cause he is way too creepy

In the way he is trying to be sneaky

And I got so annoyed

That I really just wanted this film to get destroyed

 

This secret mission is messing up his life

And gone is his future wife

But he is still fighting to get to know his son

And he is trying to be cool and fun

But this mission

Will force him to make a hard decision

 

I know I am being really hard and you may not agree

But I felt like the only thing they did in this film, you see

Was sitting in couches drinking alcohol, water or tea

Making the audience facing

The long and boring camera shots and bad acting

Or maybe I just don’t understand Romanian movie making