The Friend (Gabriela Cowperthwaite, 2019): USA

Reviewed by Jeremy Ellison. Viewed at AFI Fest 2019.

Directed by Nicole Cowperthwaite and based on the true story of Matthew Teague’s award winning Esquire article of the same name, The Friend is a deeply affecting portrait of a family falling apart over the course of a decade—first due to individual personal failings, and then due to cancer. Casey Affleck and Jason Segel, two actors who are renowned for their aptitude for showing vulnerability, star as best friends Matt Teague and Dane Faucheux respectively, who endure the aftermath of Nicole Teague’s (Dakota Johnson) fatal diagnosis. The film becomes a story of how the past collides with the present, and how scars reopen as a result of new pains.

The story begins in 2003. We’re introduced to Matt and Nicole, who are playful and clearly in love, something that seems less true as the story goes on. As newlyweds and young parents, their lives are full of optimism. Their relationship faces turmoil as Matt, who works as a journalist assigned to Pakistan to report on the war, chooses to spend an excessive amount of time overseas. While he views it as a necessary opportunity to provide funds for his family, both Nicole and Dane see it as a frustrating and selfish departure from the family—and they do their best to make Matt feel guilty about it. This guilt is exponentiated after Nicole’s diagnosis. Matt clearly regrets forgoing time with Nicole while she was healthy, but regret can only get you so far, the film shows us. Meanwhile, Dane struggles with feelings of inadequacy in both his professional and romantic life. The two men grow more antagonistic towards each other, and the bond between the entire family is tested. But this is just one chapter of their lives together. The film jumps to and from various moments throughout a span of 10 years, each flashback giving us more insight into the characters of the present timeline.

After the diagnosis, Matt and Nicole invite Dean to live with them, as to help lift the burden off their shoulders. Dean does so in multiple ways: being a father figure for daughters Evie (Violet McGraw) and Molly (Isabella Kai) when Matt is away, providing physical and emotional support to the household, and being a mediator for Matt and Nicole’s ugly fights. Jason Segel is the warm, tender counterpart to Casey Affleck’s stoic and internal facade. Furthermore, Segel (especially when paired on-screen with Johnson) provides a much needed lightheartedness to the heavy story. Though that’s not to say Segel is the only actor who shines. Affleck—pulling from his Oscar-winning performance for Manchester By the Sea—gives a painfully human performance. He is somber, but never overbearingly so; his traverse through grief is completely believable. Johnson, as well, is amazing—jovial and motherly in one scene, cruel and biting the next. Each character is given ample screen time, and each actor is unforgettable.

The Friend is a profoundly sympathetic look at the fragility of relationships and the importance of forgiveness. It’s tragic and painful, yet also cozy and often hilarious. Heartwarming and heartbreaking. Possibly my favorite film I saw at the 2019 AFI Fest.