Halloween Horror Nights (Universal Studios, 2010): USA

Reviewed by Kyle Calbreath. Viewed at Universal Studios Theme Park, Hollywood, CA

There was blood everywhere. People being chased and chopped with chainsaws, axes and butchers knifes. Creatures not of this world were feasting on the fear and flesh of unsuspecting humans. Cries for help and sobs of pain could be heard. Feral screams of torture as limbs were being ripped from sockets and joints. Why was I seeing this horror? This should not be happening.

But it is happening, well in a sort of sense. While yes all this was happening it was not actually happening. Through the genius of movie magic Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights brings to life what they have been known for since the beginning, classic thrills and chills.

With updates to the genre over the years the horror movie audience of Universal is subjected to different monsters and newly refreshed archetypal serial killers. The new releases of such films as A Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13^th have given a new generation a feel for the kill. While many of the youngsters running around in fright may not have seen, or even heard of the originals they now know Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger on a face to face basis.

All the rides were running as usual, even as a heavy mist covered the park for the entire night, including the new Simpsons digital ride, the King Kong 360 3D experience and Jurassic Park (in the dark). While the lines for these semi-thrilling coasters were relatively short the lines for the mazes had waits as long as it took me and my friends to drive there from Santa Barbara. For the Saw, Game On maze the wait was almost two hours long. My brood and I chose to wait, in the mist, for the five minute thrill walk. But I’ll tell you, it was worth it. Scenes of the entire how-ever-many-Saw-films-there-are-now were depicted in what seemed true guts and gore. The girl digging through a tub full of needles, the man hacking his leg off to set himself free, the victim searching for the key, elbow deep in some poor soul’s stomach, all paid bloody homage to the mass murderer that teaches us to respect life.

The tram ride is always the best in my opinion. This year it was themed after the foulmouthed slayer Good-Guy doll, Chucky. As the tram came to a halt we were greeted by ten or so still standing deformed army men, gripping menacing chainsaws. As we cautiously stepped from the tram and approached them, they cranked up the saws and made haste chasing us around, grinding the asphalt, sparks flying our screams of run, run echoing through the night.

The walk took us through part of the back lot. The Bates Motel from Psycho, the airplane crash scene from War of the Worlds, all covered in carnage. The mist added that extra bit of terror as the dirt ground was churning into slick mud. Psychopaths would sneak up behind you and threaten to stab you to death with a blood covered knife or axe or whatever seemed to be the trend this year in killing.

While in the past the scare zones have been crawling with creepy killers this year it seemed they were a little short staffed. The zones were more of a walk through a foggy park than a scary haunted arena. The last time I attended this scare fest Universal had creepers sliding across the ground toward you or getting a little two close for comfort with that chainsaw. This year the scare zones did not live up to the title.

With all the flesh ripping, blood dripping, decapitating, crazy killer chasing, Universal has kept its name on the horror forefront. Halloween Horror Nights is still the place to attend when in need of a good scare.

But to those who enter, beware, a warning, the more you fear, the more you scream the higher their blood lust grows. The crazies are waiting, and they are having a killer time killing you.